


Breathe

by IsthisthereallifenoitsjustJeremy



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Past Relationship(s), fluff later, not as short drabble
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-05 22:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsthisthereallifenoitsjustJeremy/pseuds/IsthisthereallifenoitsjustJeremy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve thought that they'd had a good thing going until Tony decided not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this will be my first chapter fic on ao3, please be nice :-) Just read on, nothing majorly squicky or triggering here. Enjoy!

/ _Now I don’t know what to be without you around. And we know it’s never simple, never easy. Never a clean break, nobody here to save me; you’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand. And I can’t breathe without you, but I have to breathe without you. Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. People are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out, and nothing we’re gonna say is gonna save us from the fallout. It’s two a.m., feeling like I just lost a friend; hope you know this ain’t easy for me. Sorry, so sorry_ /

As soon as he stepped around the corner, Steve wished he hadn’t. He spotted Tony across the street, sitting in a café’s patio. He wasn’t alone. Seeing Tony again made his heart give a little lurch, shying away from the pain of their last meeting.  He took a deep breath, hoping to not be spotted. Studying the pavement, he turned the corner and continued walking. _Walk as if you belong_ , Natasha had once told him. Trying to give off a pedestrian vibe, he ambled slowly away. _Keep it together Rogers_ , he told himself. _Just until you get back to the tower_. He continued walking away, convinced that they hadn’t seen him when he heard a yell from behind him.

            “Steve!” Tony’s familiar voice rang out over the noise of the crowd around them. Steve felt a lump rise in his throat as he heard Tony say his name again, as if they were dating again. Turning around, he was greeted by the sight of a smiling Tony and an awkward Bruce Banner. He mustered up a smile for his ex-boyfriend and teammate.

            “Tony.” He said, his voice cracking ever so slightly. He coughed and started again, “It’s good to see you.” In an aside to Bruce, he muttered a hello. Bruce nodded to him, a twinge of sympathy behind his eyes. Collecting himself, he asked, “So where you guys headed?” Tony’s eyes got a little gleam as he started talking animatedly about a technological project that he and Bruce were working on. It got to the point where the only words Steve could understand were “the” and “it’s”. Bruce had had his hands inside his pockets while Tony was talking, until he finally spoke.

            “Computer stuff. We were just grabbing lunch.” Steve slightly relaxed, thankful to Bruce for clearing it up. Bruce peered at Steve, and Steve knew then that Bruce knew what he was feeling. Steve could feel himself start to choke up, and tried to think of a way to get away. Bruce noticed and, grabbing Tony’s arm, gently murmured, “uh, c’mon Tony, we have to be there on time.” The way that Bruce possessively grabbed Tony’s bicep didn’t escape Steve’s notice, and he actually felt a tear leak out of the side of his eye. Quickly wiping at it, he mumbled to himself.

            “Oh, uh, I think I got something in my eye. It’s the dust, you know.” Meeting Tony’s eyes, he knew that Tony didn’t believe him for a minute. Tony turned to Bruce and quietly muttered,

            “Give me a minute, kay?” Bruce nodded, and silently sauntered off down the sidewalk. Tony faced Steve, and both men just stared at the other. Tony opened his mouth to say something, until Steve raised his hand to silence him.

            “Tony… Let me go first. I just want to ask… Does he make you happy? Will you stay with him?” Steve searched Tony’s eyes desperately, asking another question wordlessly: _Was it worth leaving me for him?_ Tony hesitated for a minute. Looking into his eyes, Tony shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

            “I don’t know, Steve. Can I not just… have fun?” He whispered, as a lone tear fell from his eye. Steve nodded, his eyes misting up as he started to back away,

            “Sure. Well, go on and enjoy your… fun.” He choked out as he felt a sob rise in his chest. He gasped before he began crying in the middle of the sidewalk. He saw Tony start to reach out to comfort him, as he used to do before, and then pulling it back slowly. With another whispered _Sorry_ , Tony walked off with Bruce, who shot him a sympathetic glance. Steve felt another wave of grief take him as he fell to his knees. The tears didn’t seem to have an end as they streamed continuously from his eyes. His heart felt like it was shattering into pieces, the pain was so bad. He was aware of a car stopping in the street near him, and somebody getting out. Looking up, he met Natasha’s concerned eyes. Fresh tears sprang to his eyes as Natasha held her hand out for him to take. He let her haul him up and lead him into the limo, where he cried on her shoulder as she _shh_ ’d in comfort.

            They arrived at Stark Towers, and she took him up to his room. Turning on the lights, he saw that his walls were bare, his shelves emptied of Tony’s unfinished projects and his photos of him and Tony were gone. Questioningly, he looked over at Natasha who shrugged.

            “I just figured you could do without reminders right now. You can get them back whenever you want them.” She turned to leave, but then walked up to him and laid her hand on his cheek. “Listen, it had nothing to do with you. Tony’s going to realize what he gave up, and he will regret it.” Seeing the tears build up in Steve’s eyes, she sighed and walked out of the room. Looking around the now empty room, he sat down on the bed. Taking a breath, he slowly laid down on the bed. He could still smell Tony’s scent on the blankets. Pulling the covers up to his chin, he let a few tears quietly escape from his eyes. Sighing, he turned onto his side and tried to fall asleep.

Unbeknownst to Steve, Tony hovered in the doorway. Tears misted in his eyes as he watched Steve sleep. Steve, who deserved so much more than what Tony could ever give him. He wanted Steve to move on, and so he orchestrated a fictitious romance with Bruce, hoping to force Steve into moving on. But he had just hurt Steve so much, as he had known he would. Tony longed to climb into bed with Steve, to wrap him up in his arms, to kiss his tears away and tell him that he would never leave him again… But he couldn’t. Not this time. Tony slowly moved away from Steve’s doorway before Steve noticed him, shambling to his own room. As he turned on the lights, he saw a box on his bed. Confused, he moved to open the box. Lifting the lid, he saw all the pictures of him and Steve that they had taken since the beginning of their relationship. Feeling tears start to fall from his eyes, he looked up as Natasha stepped from the shadows. He narrowed his eyes, even as she spoke.

            “I know, Stark. I know why you did what you did.” Tony was about to speak, when Natasha suddenly flew across the room and backhanded him hard, cracking him on the jaw. Tony groaned, seeing stars dance across his vision. “I understand… But you’re an idiot.” Tony gaped at her, massaging his jaw as she glared daggers. “You need to get over yourself and stop thinking you know what everybody’s thinking. Because even though you think you’re not good enough for Steve, he does. And now you’ve just broken his heart into a million pieces.” She calmed herself down, and her fists unclenched. “You need to stop acting like such a martyr. Apologize to Steve, and I mean get down on your knees and beg if you have to, because by this time tomorrow, I want you two back together again.” Trailing off, she turned away, leaving Tony to wonder about the rest of her sentence. He thought she was finished, but then she spoke again over her shoulder. “And if you aren’t… I will kill you.” Her words left no doubt that she intended to make good on her word. She then left the room without a backward glance.

            Tony swallowed, feeling his heart flutter with hope. “I will.” He said, beginning to feel a smile lift up the corners of his mouth as he picked up a pic of him and Steve, with Steve’s arms around him in a bear hug. “I will.” 


	2. Sober

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony just wants to drink away his problems. The problem? The reason he wants to drink shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is a prequel kinda set a few months before Breathe, so this would be when Steve and Tony's relationship would've barely begun. Hope you enjoy! :D

/ _Oh-ohh, Sun is blinding… I stayed up again. Oh-ohh, I am finding... That that’s not the way I want my story to end. I’m safe, up high; nothing can touch me. But why do I feel this party’s over? No pain, inside; you’re my protection. How can I feel this good sober? Ah-ahh, Night is calling… And it whispers to me softly, “come play”. And i- I am falling. And if I let myself go, I’m the only one to blame. I’m safe, up high; nothing can touch me. But why do I feel this party’s over? No pain, inside; you’re like perfection. How can I feel this good sober?_ /

                Strobe lights flashed in the club as Tony nursed a shot of alcohol at the bar. He couldn’t remember what he was drinking, but right then it didn’t matter. Trying to bury his attraction for Steve Rogers AKA Captain America, his teammate, he was tossing back anything he could get. The bartender glanced over at him every so often worriedly, wincing as Tony slugged back shot after shot. Grimacing at the burn as the alcohol went down, he gestured at the bartender for more.

            Suddenly, Tony became aware of a presence next to him. Looking over, he dimly saw a blonde guy standing close to his arm. He shifted to get a better look and, blearily, found himself staring into Steve’s eyes. Seeing disappointment pooling behind the blue, Tony felt tears form in his own eyes as shame welled up inside him. Choking up, he got up to leave. A hand shot out to stop him, but suddenly Tony had to leave for a different reason.

            “Shit.” He muttered as he felt the alcohol rising back up. Quickly dodging Steve’s hand, he raced to the bathroom. He made it to the stall just in the nick of time, dropping to his knees to vomit into the toilet. The alcohol burned as it left his throat, tasting worse than it had when he drank it. Groaning between bouts of retching, he felt a hand gently rubbing his back in circles. The comforting motion quieted the worst of his heaving, and soon it stopped. As the nausea passed, Tony felt exhaustion settle over him and when Steve began running his hand through his hair, he almost fell asleep.

            Still aware of his surroundings but holding on to consciousness by a thread, he heard Steve sigh. Tony felt Steve’s strong hands wrap around his chest as he was lifted up and cradled against the super soldier’s chest. He felt Steve carry him out of the bar and into a car. Tony assumed it was a limo, since Steve still held Tony in his arms rather than set him down on the seat beside him as Tony thought he would. Steve doodled randomly on Tony’s arm, almost making him drift off. They finally came to a stop, presumably in front of Stark Tower.

            Steve brought Tony up to his room, saying hello to Jarvis before setting the half-asleep playboy down on his bed gently. Tentatively, Steve leaned down and placed a kiss on Tony’s forehead. Tony suddenly came to life again, mumbling the soldier’s name, which caused Steve to jerk back. Tony reached out for him blindly, sighing again,

            “Steve?” Hesitantly, Steve moved closer and took Tony’s out-stretched hand.

            “Yeah, Tony?” At Steve’s response, he smiled sleepily. Tony then managed to get out,

            “Sleep with me, Steve?” Steve’s breathing stopped completely, shock obvious from his silence as he finally choked out,

            “D-do you mean it Tony?” he stuttered, his breathing hitching as he waited for Tony’s response. Tony chuckled softly as he breathed,

            “Just get in the bed, Steve.” Quickly, Steve stripped to his boxers and jumped into the bed. Tony shifted around, moving closer to nestle into Steve’s chest. Shyly, Steve draped his arm over Tony, causing him to “hmmm…” his approval and sigh happily. Steve kissed the top of Tony’s hair, and Tony craned his neck to stare up at him. Steve paused, his breath quickening as he leaned down to kiss Tony. He brushed his lips slowly against Tony’s, feeling their heartbeats speed up. After a few minutes of kissing, Steve pulled back with a protest from Tony. Smiling, he hushed Tony with a finger to his lips. Placing another kiss on his lips, he whispered,

            “I’ll still be here in the morning, if you want me.” Tony’s sleepy smile took Steve’s breath away, and Tony turned around to spoon up to Steve’s chest. Reaching around Tony, he found Tony’s hand and gripped it tight, interlocking their fingers. Cuddling Tony closer to his chest, he murmured into his ear before drifting off to sleep, “Goodnight, Tony.” He closed his eyes, ready to sleep until he heard a soft whisper,

            “Goodnight, Steve.” Smiling against Tony’s shoulder, he let himself be lulled to sleep by the whistle of Tony’s snore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr- isthisthereallifenoitsjustjeremy

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr- isthisthereallifenoitsjustjeremy


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